• Miss Jordan Taylor

My Tidiness Pattern

I wrote the following on 09-20-20:

“I have a pattern in my life, which I can’t say I hate, though I would think it should disturb me. I regularly go through periods of disorder, usually when I have overbooked myself with time commitments and let things like keeping my room tidy fall by the wayside. For a few days, up to a week or two, I feel behind, and I beat up on myself for not having it together. But while I enjoy the gentle satisfaction of maintaining consistent neatness, I get a thrill from the restorative boost of a full tidying session. I might feel guilty before I put things in order, but that action of restoring my environment often sends me into a burst of productivity. My whole life seems to right itself, at least temporarily, and I feel I can take on anything. The lapse sends me into a period of growth, just as children need sleep and sickness to propel them forward in health.”

I still agree that I like operating this way and my reasoning still makes sense to me, but the new things I’ve been learning from Atomic Habits make me think that I would be better off breaking this pattern. I am significantly less productive in a cluttered or disorganized environment, so depending on a burst of motivation to put my space in a state conducive to action means that I am not able to be my most productive most of the time. I’m practicing tidying my room every night, regardless of “how much time I have.” I always make time to check my email; I can make time to clean my room.